anotherrpmemeblog:

Make a pass at my muse!

Send “Pass” and I’ll generate a number for my muse to react to yours…

  1. Winking at them
  2. Squeezing their knee under the table
  3. Whistling at them
  4. Telling them they look beautiful
  5. Telling them they look sexy
  6. Sliding their hand over their bottom
  7. Eyeing them up
  8. Sending them a dirty message
  9. Asking them out on a date
  10. Leaning in for a kiss
  11. Lingering on a hug
  12. Asking them if they’re single
  13. Asking them to dance
  14. Offering to buy them a drink
  15. Buying them a drink
  16. Boasting to impress them
  17. Showing off their skills to impress them
  18. Telling them the perks of a relationship with them
  19. Inviting them to their bedroom
  20. Kissing them on the cheek

John Mulaney Sentence Starters

ollioxenfreee:

NEW IN TOWN

  • ❝  I was hoping that by now I would look older. ❞
  • ❝  I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life. ❞
  • ❝  Looks like regular sand, but then you’re gonna start to sink into it. ❞
  • ❝  That’s pure mom. ❞
  • ❝  Luckily, I had a good alibi. ❞
  • ❝  It’s a grid system, mother fucker. ❞
  • ❝  Of the racial slurs, that has got to be the laziest. ❞
  • ❝  Before I went through puberty I had the voice of a little flute. ❞
  • ❝  No one knows what you’re talking about you idiot. ❞
  • ❝  You will treat me with respect! ❞
  • ❝  I am a tiger mom. ❞
  • ❝  First off, no. ❞
  • ❝  Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka Factory. ❞
  • ❝  You’re gonna have to get used to that. ❞
  • ❝  Yeah, you got it, man. ❞
  • ❝  It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA. ❞
  • ❝  Oh, good, it has a mind of its own. ❞
  • ❝  It’s really easy not to go to things. ❞
  • ❝  That you would do anything is totally remarkable. ❞
  • ❝  The less amount of time you live the better. ❞
  • ❝  I was definitely gay when I was a little boy. ❞
  • ❝  I have girlfriend and she’s a female person. ❞
  • ❝  Go, fetch! ❞
  • ❝  Life is a fucking nightmare. ❞
  • ❝  I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and one day I’ll die. ❞
  • ❝  What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? ❞
  • ❝  Let’s go over there and destroy the place. ❞
  • ❝  Fuck da police! ❞
  • ❝  I’ve never climbed a fence that high before. ❞
  • ❝  Did I do that? ❞
  • ❝  Hey, come here. I want to show you something. ❞
  • ❝  Why do you do this? ❞
  • ❝  I’m not gonna kill that guy. ❞
  • ❝  Hey can you help me out? I’m very gay. I’d like a few dollars. ❞
  • ❝  Yeah, that’s the type of lowbrow shit i’m looking for. ❞
  • ❝  It was a lie. To get drugs. ❞

THE COMEBACK KID

  • ❝  I know how big letters should be. ❞
  • ❝  You totally forgot the lesson you just learned. ❞
  • ❝  Do not fuck with me. ❞
  • ❝  Marriage is gonna be very magical. ❞
  • ❝  I bet he did kill his wife. ❞
  • ❝  I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself. ❞
  • ❝  Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞
  • ❝  Why would you marry a woman if she’s already having sex with you? ❞
  • ❝  If you just bought the cow nobody would say that anymore! ❞
  • ❝  It’s just a little bit wrong, isn’t it? ❞
  • ❝  What a mighty king I will be. ❞
  • ❝  It’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash. ❞
  • ❝  You don’t deserve a beach house. ❞
  • ❝  This is an on-fire garbage can. ❞
  • ❝  I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞
  • ❝  You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy. ❞
  • ❝  No one wants to applaud the penis of a thirty-two-year-old weirdo. ❞
  • ❝  You know how I’m filled with rage? ❞
  • ❝  So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under. ❞
  • ❝  This is the best movie idea I’ve ever heard in my life. ❞
  • ❝  Kids have it very good now. ❞
  • ❝  Doesn’t anyone wanna know why his dick was near my biters in the first place? ❞
  • ❝  How did he lose his arm? ❞
  • ❝  That’s exactly what you won’t ask. ❞
  • ❝  You have your law practice, and me, I have all these fucking markers. ❞
  • ❝  I’m just reading this Yellow Pages. ❞
  • ❝  My dad loved us! He just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem. ❞
  • ❝  McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! ❞
  • ❝  That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. ❞
  • ❝  How perfect is that? ❞
  • ❝  We’d rather you do it in the house than go somewhere else. ❞
  • ❝  Ah…numbers. The letters of math. ❞
  • ❝  One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! ❞
  • ❝  Don’t you see? I’m a duck now. ❞
  • ❝  If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞
  • ❝  Hey, man. I like your button. ❞

Lutece twins quotes – starters

purrple-skies:

Feel free to change pronouns and such!!

“It’s up to you to decide what’s more important: your part in the play, or the play itself.”
“We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us.”
“Time is more an ocean than a river”
“I take no joy in her failure.”
“One must give her an “A” for effort…But an “F” on results.“
"You give her no credit for good intention?”
“The Universe does not grade on a curve. It’s strictly pass/fail.”
“Surely it’s better to have died trying.”
“Why ask questions you don’t wish to hear the answer to?”
“If it helps you to believe so, then I shall not be the one to disillusion you.”
“And you view this as a positive?”
“Hmph. I feel dirty sharing a universe with the man.”
“How poorly we see our own traits in others.”
“You both see the world through a lens of science.”
“She’s gone for good now.”
“You can warn people not to collapse a quantum superposition but do they ever really listen?”
“One could believe a mission is doomed to failure… and wish sincerely that it wasn’t. Hopes, like quantum superpositions, have a tendency to collapse.”
“We can afford to do this all day, but the question is, can you?”
“If you don’t go, I’ll be forced to start repeating myself;”
“This is starting to become rather awkward.”
“The mind of the subject will desperately struggle to create memories where none exist…”
“I’ve made it very clear that I don’t believe in the exercise.”
“One goes into an experiment knowing one can fail.”
“Why do you ask ‘what?’”
“The only difference between past and present …is semantics.”
“If we could perceive time as it truly was… what reason would grammar professors have to get out of bed?”
“Perception without comprehension… is a dangerous combination.”
“One doesn’t expect a picture of one’s corpse… to come across so lifelessly.”
“I told you they’d come.”
“I was going to tell you they’d come.”
“I was going to have told you they’d come?”
“I don’t think the syntax has being invented yet.”
“It would have had to have had been.”
“Dead is dead.”

Doubt starters

purrple-skies:

Feel free to change the pronouns!

  • He doesn’t love you
  • He only likes the attention you give him
  • He doesn’t care for you
  • He’s only using you
  • Why do you care so much? He doesn’t care at all after all
  • He only misses your praise
  • You’re just an object to him
  • Stop caring
  • He will throw you away when you become useless to him
  • Just leave him and be done
  • He doesn’t care about your feelings
  • If you wouldn’t stay by his side every time he left, you’d be much better off