“You left me alone.”
“I can’t help but blame you for this.”
I’m sorry it took so long! School and other projects have been keeping me busy!
—
Edward couldn’t sleep. There he lay, warm and safe in Author’s arms, but he couldn’t even will himself to close his eyes. He stared at the wall, listening as Author quietly murmured in his sleep. The words never seemed to stop for him. He was always writing, always speaking, even in his dreams. And Edward laid there, awake, wishing there was silence.
The day had been a long, tough one, and rest usually came easy those days, so why couldn’t he sleep? Shutting his eyes led to nothing. He wanted to shift about, but Author’s arms kept him securely there.
“I can’t help but blame you for this,” he whispered at Author, “Maybe your arms are too warm, and that’s why I can’t sleep.”
Author continued murmuring, oblivious to the world around him. Edward sighed, wishing it was just a yawn, and that he could go to sleep. The day had been long, and he wanted nothing but to rest, to fall asleep in his lover’s arms that were squeezing almost uncomfortably tight around him.
“What is it with you?” He couldn’t help but whisper at him, “You left me alone all day, but now, you won’t let me go? You left me alone.”
The dreamy murmuring continued, unaffected by Edward’s silent questions. He almost wished Author was awake, so maybe he could get an explanation to why he was left alone until the sun set and he went to bed. Why he wouldn’t listen, constantly obsessed with whatever story he had been writing. Why he would ignore him, but always sleep with him. He turned at an uncomfortable angle, looking at Authors sleeping face, murmuring lips.
Did he love him too much?
The thought shocked him out of whatever fatigue he had. Of course he loves Author, they wouldn’t be dating if he didn’t. He got him roses, bandages, kissed him, loved him in ways he had never loved anyone else before-
But is that too much? Author was a good man, a loving man, and Edward knew he loved him more than anything, just like how he loved him. More than anything. Sacrificing anything, doing anything, for him. Would Author do the same, though?
Edward turned his glance away from Author’s sleeping form. There was no way he was going to sleep now with the violent maelstrom of thoughts in his mind, buzzing like wasps. Author was holding him. A part of Edward wanted to relax into it, another part wanted to leave him like all the times Author had left him to wake up alone.
He split the difference, laying completely still and staring at the wall until the sun came up. His eyes were closed, thoughts focused only on the sharp question that had been poking at him all night. Finally, finally Author moved, unwinding his arms from Edward, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and standing up. His heart sunk through the floor, when all of a sudden, there was the feeling of soft lips on his cheek.
“I’ll see you later, dear prince.”
He heard Author move about the room, gathering his things, the metal of his bat, the paper of his journal, all tucked away. The door open, then shut. Slowly, Edward brought a hand to his cheek and sprawled out on the empty bed. Now, sleep came easy to him. His question was answered.
emptynarration 