palpalbuddypal:

“Where were you when I needed you?”

The summer sun rises slowly, and Damien stares until it hurts his eyes. He’s seated on the roof, even though he knows his pants are a mess from sitting there but he couldn’t care less. Up on the roof with a bottle of scotch, pretending not to care about the pain in his hip or his heart.

He stared down at the cement patio, framed with well cared for gardens that he had known for all his life. As a child, he skinned his knee running around this garden; as an adult he walked through it, a constant pain thrumming through his hip.

In that garden, he and William stole kisses and walked at night, dancing to the sound of crickets and owls in the light of fluttering fireflies. But now…

Footsteps down below broke Damien out of his stupor. Bottle of scotch in hand, he looked out down to the concrete not too far below, to see William. He was holding his cane.

“I thought you might’ve wanted this, Dames,” he gestured with the cane with a mustachioed smile, and Damien felt sick.

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“You should come down from there- you could get hurt,” William set the cane down, stepping closer to the roof.

Damien squeezed his hand tightener around the neck of the bottle. He knew himself well, if he got talked off of this roof, he’d wind up in Williams bed again.

“I think you’ve hurt me enough,” Damien growled. William looked hurt, and Damien forced himself not to care even though it killed him to see him upset.

“Damien-“

“Where were you when I needed you?”

William set down Damien’s cane. He opened his mouth to speak, but Damien kept on talking.

“Where were you when I needed you? When I needed someone to talk to or when I just needed a hug? Drunk? Screwing Celine? I- i thought we had something. Goddamnit William, I loved you.”

William perked up, “you love me?”

“No,” Damien could feel tears well up in his eyes, “I loved you. I thought you loved me too.”

William started speaking, another tired excuse, probably, and Damien threw the bottle of scotch at him. It missed, but shattered on concrete and sprayed booze everywhere.

William left without another word, and Damien sat until the noonday sun glimmered on broken glass.