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emptynarration:

Markus nodded lightly. He didn’t want to leave Daniel any time soon wanting to cuddle and be held. But he also wanted Daniel to at least try his pancakes. He had even made himself the work to make them extra fluffy.

Daniel smiled and then picked him up again. „Well then let’s eat!“ he beamed and carried him over to the table where he dat down. He took one and bit down on it before he hummed. „Oh my god they’re so good!!“

Markus nuzzled against Daniel when he sat down again, clearly not intending to eat anything. He lightly hit Daniel’s chest at his comment, not believing they were as good as Daniel made them out to be.

Markus nodded lightly. He didn’t want to leave Daniel any time soon wanting to cuddle and be held. But he also wanted Daniel to at least try his pancakes. He had even made himself the work to make them extra fluffy.

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Markus gently tugged on Daniel’s shirt, pointing to the kitchen. He had made pancakes. His self-hate was telling him they were terrible anyways, but… he had made them for Daniel… He could at least throw them away if he thought they were bad. Or save them for whenever Markus felt like he could eat.

„Oh thank you dear“ he smiled and pecked his lips. „I promise I’ll eat them later. Right now I just wanna hold your he hummed.

Markus looked a little disappointed. The pancakes were the whole reason this chain of feeling bad had happened. Because he had said no to help, and thus felt bad over making Daniel feel anything but happy.

He buried his face against Daniel’s chest, holding onto him. He couldn’t do anything about him not wanting to eat.

Markus gently tugged on Daniel’s shirt, pointing to the kitchen. He had made pancakes. His self-hate was telling him they were terrible anyways, but… he had made them for Daniel… He could at least throw them away if he thought they were bad. Or save them for whenever Markus felt like he could eat.

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Oh no. Markus felt worse. He clung to Daniel, burying his face against him. He couldn’t bring himself to smile for him, he felt far too bad. And he was pretty sure Daniel didn’t want a forced smile either.

“I’m sorry-”, he almost choked on his words, trying not to cry.

“Don’t be hun.. it’s okay. Shhh…” he whispered and went to sit down on the couch with him. He held him close and whispered sweet nothings to him to make him calm down.

Markus needed quite some time to calm down, relaxing against Daniel eventually. He was glad pancakes could be reheated and still taste good.

He stayed quiet though, still not feeling like talking. He hoped Daniel wouldn’t force him to talk. He just wanted to not speak for a while.

Oh no. Markus felt worse. He clung to Daniel, burying his face against him. He couldn’t bring himself to smile for him, he felt far too bad. And he was pretty sure Daniel didn’t want a forced smile either.

“I’m sorry-”, he almost choked on his words, trying not to cry.

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“No. Just me.”, Markus replied quietly. He was the one doing things wrong. He had made Daniel feel bad, and like he had done something wrong -why else would he ask? He deserved feeling like the scum of the earth he was, not eating, pain. He deserved everything bad that had happened to him.

He absentmindedly scratched his wrists. The injuries from when they had met were still visible, but unable to be reopened by scratching.

“You? Hun you didn’t do anything wrong” he said softly and pulled him into his arms. He hummed and rocked him softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong” he repeated in a whisper and then he kissed him softly.

Markus let Daniel pull him against him, not reacting much. He didn’t feel good. He just.. he felt a sad kind of empty. Not even the soft kiss made him feel better.

“Okay..”, he mumbled quietly in reply and nodded. He couldn’t help but feel like he had though. He just had to hope this feeling would pass soon.