dxrkmirxge:

emptynarration:

Markus gently tugged on Daniel’s shirt, pointing to the kitchen. He had made pancakes. His self-hate was telling him they were terrible anyways, but… he had made them for Daniel… He could at least throw them away if he thought they were bad. Or save them for whenever Markus felt like he could eat.

„Oh thank you dear“ he smiled and pecked his lips. „I promise I’ll eat them later. Right now I just wanna hold your he hummed.

Markus looked a little disappointed. The pancakes were the whole reason this chain of feeling bad had happened. Because he had said no to help, and thus felt bad over making Daniel feel anything but happy.

He buried his face against Daniel’s chest, holding onto him. He couldn’t do anything about him not wanting to eat.

Markus gently tugged on Daniel’s shirt, pointing to the kitchen. He had made pancakes. His self-hate was telling him they were terrible anyways, but… he had made them for Daniel… He could at least throw them away if he thought they were bad. Or save them for whenever Markus felt like he could eat.

dxrkmirxge:

emptynarration:

Oh no. Markus felt worse. He clung to Daniel, burying his face against him. He couldn’t bring himself to smile for him, he felt far too bad. And he was pretty sure Daniel didn’t want a forced smile either.

“I’m sorry-”, he almost choked on his words, trying not to cry.

“Don’t be hun.. it’s okay. Shhh…” he whispered and went to sit down on the couch with him. He held him close and whispered sweet nothings to him to make him calm down.

Markus needed quite some time to calm down, relaxing against Daniel eventually. He was glad pancakes could be reheated and still taste good.

He stayed quiet though, still not feeling like talking. He hoped Daniel wouldn’t force him to talk. He just wanted to not speak for a while.

Oh no. Markus felt worse. He clung to Daniel, burying his face against him. He couldn’t bring himself to smile for him, he felt far too bad. And he was pretty sure Daniel didn’t want a forced smile either.

“I’m sorry-”, he almost choked on his words, trying not to cry.

dxrkmirxge:

emptynarration:

“No. Just me.”, Markus replied quietly. He was the one doing things wrong. He had made Daniel feel bad, and like he had done something wrong -why else would he ask? He deserved feeling like the scum of the earth he was, not eating, pain. He deserved everything bad that had happened to him.

He absentmindedly scratched his wrists. The injuries from when they had met were still visible, but unable to be reopened by scratching.

“You? Hun you didn’t do anything wrong” he said softly and pulled him into his arms. He hummed and rocked him softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong” he repeated in a whisper and then he kissed him softly.

Markus let Daniel pull him against him, not reacting much. He didn’t feel good. He just.. he felt a sad kind of empty. Not even the soft kiss made him feel better.

“Okay..”, he mumbled quietly in reply and nodded. He couldn’t help but feel like he had though. He just had to hope this feeling would pass soon.

“No. Just me.”, Markus replied quietly. He was the one doing things wrong. He had made Daniel feel bad, and like he had done something wrong -why else would he ask? He deserved feeling like the scum of the earth he was, not eating, pain. He deserved everything bad that had happened to him.

He absentmindedly scratched his wrists. The injuries from when they had met were still visible, but unable to be reopened by scratching.

dxrkmirxge:

emptynarration:

Markus didn’t move for a few moments, before going to the kitchen. He felt bad. He felt really bad. He shouldn’t, he was overreacting, he had no reason to feel bad like this. And still he did, and blaming himself made him feel worse.

He easily grabbed the things he needed, mixing them in a bowl. He grabbed some chocolate chips too. He let himself just work, easily making the pancakes. He didn’t make a lot, four or five not too big ones, before he was out of batter. He set the plate onto the table to once chair for Daniel, setting down milk and cocoa powder too, if Daniel wanted some.

He decided to not have anything for breakfast at all. At least he wasn’t hungry anyways.

Daniel went to shower before he stepped out and dressed again. He then walked back downstairs and looked at Markus. “I’m back. Thank you for letting me shower here” he told him softly.

Markus hummed lightly in return. He had sat down opposite of where he had placed the pancakes.

“Sorry. Don’t feel like talking much..”, he mumbled quietly. Last time he hadn’t been responsive to a boyfriend, he was yelled at and beaten. So he’d rather tell Daniel and hope for the best.